I think I was partially successful. I can't help but get a little angst-y when I write this character. But, at the end of the day, I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. Hope you all enjoy it as well.
My New Friend
I have needs. There's just no getting around it. I'd grown so very accustomed to having someone there, someone to give me what I needed that when she wasn't there anymore, I was in a bit of shock. It's odd, really. I've never considered sex to be the biggest part of my life. Sure, it's there, and it's great, but it's not everything. But in the months after my breakup with Amy, I have to admit that it seemed very, very important.
Once I cleared my emotional hurdles, I could barely think of anything else. It practically drove me crazy. I'd get that feeling in the pit of my stomach at the oddest times. I'd be watching some random television show or sitting in line at the bank, and it would hit me.
But what was I going to do? Back then, I didn't even know what gender I wanted to have sex with, much less how to get one to do it with me.
Most guys have it so easy. They can just find a computer, look up one of the hundreds of porn sites, and go at it. But I'm different. I can orgasm like that, but it's not the same. Maybe it's all in my head, but...let's just say that anal sex is my preference.
Even women have it easier. Massagers, a shower head, or even just their fingers will do the trick. But me...it was so uncomfortable. I tried laying in the tub, spreading my legs, and using my fingers, but the whole affair left me unsatisfied and with a cramp in my leg.
Finally, I broke down and admitted that I needed some help. I knew what I wanted, but...well, buying a dildo can be so embarassing. I mean, what if someone found it? What would they think? Or what if someone recognized me in the store? I would be so mortified.
So I chose to go the online route. I found an online store, and was immediately overwhelmed by the sheer variety of it all. There were butt plugs, dildos and vibrators, and each category had dozens of individual types.
There were some that were designed specifically for anal stimulation, but...I don't know. They all just looked like something from the future. Besides, I knew what I liked. I didn't need anything special.
I chose a realistic looking dildo that had a suction cup at the base. It was a little more expensive than I had expected, but it didn't break me or anything.
And then I waited. I think those two days were the worst of all. The anticipation was killing me. Every vaguely phallic object reminded me of it. I kept checking the tracking number for the shipping company. Over and over.
The day it was scheduled to arrive, I was like a little kid at Christmas. I didn't go to class. I called into work. And then I just sat there, waiting on it to arrive. And then, a knock at my door.
I was so nervous that the delivery guy knew what was in that nondescript box. I know it was silly; heck, I knew it was baseless then. But sometimes, we can't control those sorts of feelings. I signed for the package, and eagerly shut the door.
This was it. I wanted it so badly. Butterflies danced in my tummy as I opened the box. And then, there it was. My first thought was that it was a lot bigger than I expected. My second thought was that bigger had to be better, right?
It came in that hard plastic packaging that's so hard to get into. Either you have to have some sort of sharp instrument, or you're not getting in. It's weird the things you remember.
When I finally got it free of its plastic confines, I held it in my hand for almost a solid minute, just feeling the weight of it. But then, I couldn't wait any longer.
I knew exactly what I was going to do; I had been thinking about it for days. So I locked my door, quickly stripped off all of my clothes, and stuck it to the wall. It actually held pretty well. Then, I found an old tube of lubricant, and squirted it into my hand. As I worked the lube inside of me, I remember feeling this incredible sense of excitement.
After rubbing a little lubricant onto the dildo, I was ready.
I got onto all fours, and positioned my rear onto the same level as the dildo. It took some adjustment, but I got it right after a few minutes. As I reached back, holding the dildo straight, I held the tip against my rectum.
And without further delay I pushed back.
I won't say how long I sat there, rocking back and forth, playing with my new toy. Nor will I go into specific details about it. Let's just say that I had a lot of pent up sexual frustration, and I let it out all at once.
Once I cleared my emotional hurdles, I could barely think of anything else. It practically drove me crazy. I'd get that feeling in the pit of my stomach at the oddest times. I'd be watching some random television show or sitting in line at the bank, and it would hit me.
But what was I going to do? Back then, I didn't even know what gender I wanted to have sex with, much less how to get one to do it with me.
Most guys have it so easy. They can just find a computer, look up one of the hundreds of porn sites, and go at it. But I'm different. I can orgasm like that, but it's not the same. Maybe it's all in my head, but...let's just say that anal sex is my preference.
Even women have it easier. Massagers, a shower head, or even just their fingers will do the trick. But me...it was so uncomfortable. I tried laying in the tub, spreading my legs, and using my fingers, but the whole affair left me unsatisfied and with a cramp in my leg.
Finally, I broke down and admitted that I needed some help. I knew what I wanted, but...well, buying a dildo can be so embarassing. I mean, what if someone found it? What would they think? Or what if someone recognized me in the store? I would be so mortified.
So I chose to go the online route. I found an online store, and was immediately overwhelmed by the sheer variety of it all. There were butt plugs, dildos and vibrators, and each category had dozens of individual types.
There were some that were designed specifically for anal stimulation, but...I don't know. They all just looked like something from the future. Besides, I knew what I liked. I didn't need anything special.
I chose a realistic looking dildo that had a suction cup at the base. It was a little more expensive than I had expected, but it didn't break me or anything.
And then I waited. I think those two days were the worst of all. The anticipation was killing me. Every vaguely phallic object reminded me of it. I kept checking the tracking number for the shipping company. Over and over.
The day it was scheduled to arrive, I was like a little kid at Christmas. I didn't go to class. I called into work. And then I just sat there, waiting on it to arrive. And then, a knock at my door.
I was so nervous that the delivery guy knew what was in that nondescript box. I know it was silly; heck, I knew it was baseless then. But sometimes, we can't control those sorts of feelings. I signed for the package, and eagerly shut the door.
This was it. I wanted it so badly. Butterflies danced in my tummy as I opened the box. And then, there it was. My first thought was that it was a lot bigger than I expected. My second thought was that bigger had to be better, right?
It came in that hard plastic packaging that's so hard to get into. Either you have to have some sort of sharp instrument, or you're not getting in. It's weird the things you remember.
When I finally got it free of its plastic confines, I held it in my hand for almost a solid minute, just feeling the weight of it. But then, I couldn't wait any longer.
I knew exactly what I was going to do; I had been thinking about it for days. So I locked my door, quickly stripped off all of my clothes, and stuck it to the wall. It actually held pretty well. Then, I found an old tube of lubricant, and squirted it into my hand. As I worked the lube inside of me, I remember feeling this incredible sense of excitement.
After rubbing a little lubricant onto the dildo, I was ready.
I got onto all fours, and positioned my rear onto the same level as the dildo. It took some adjustment, but I got it right after a few minutes. As I reached back, holding the dildo straight, I held the tip against my rectum.
And without further delay I pushed back.
I won't say how long I sat there, rocking back and forth, playing with my new toy. Nor will I go into specific details about it. Let's just say that I had a lot of pent up sexual frustration, and I let it out all at once.
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